All right. Since everyone else is taking sides (and largely, Richie Incognito's), it might be time to throw my weight around on the issue at hand. The thing is though, no matter how you slice it, Jonathan Martin's NFL career is over. The fans hate him. NFL players won't trust him. General Managers have even come out in criticism of the kid. While I understand he was a struggling young lineman, it's unfortunate that football still seems to operate in this sort of weird subculture that makes no real sense.
Incognito was allegedly the ring leader for a constant barrage of hazing toward Martin in an attempt to either toughen him up or get him out of his shell - depends on who you ask. Ultimately, it doesn't matter which it was. You listen to that voice mail, you hear about how Martin was the primary target on countless pranks, you see the texts, it's easy to see that those tactics were not working. How is it that Incognito - nor anyone on the coaching staff or in that locker room - noticed that those sort of uninspiring tactics were not working to toughen him up? Why did he and others keep at it? At some point, you have to switch it up. If saying, "I want to shit in your fucking mouth" isn't inspiring better play from the kid, as a leader, you've got to try something different. They stuck with it because - like most football players - they are stuck in some ancient code of conduct that, turns out, isn't especially effective. Even worse is the possibility that all of this was not only sanctioned by coach Joe Philbin; he also initiated it, allegedly telling Incognito to do this.
Of course, we can't just keep things nice and clean (although to be fair, this story has a lot of parts to it). People have argued that Martin essentially did this to himself, that he asked for this treatment by being "shy and standoffish," that he was more often trying to avoid going out with teammates instead of diving head first into being the best of off the field friends. These people contend that these hazing tactics essentially amount to the other linemen trying to get Martin out of his shell. I hope I don't have to go into how stupid this is, but I will. First off, if you're trying to get someone out of his shell, I'm not really sure how leaving messages that say, "I'm going to kill you" are going to do that. If you're constantly pulling pranks on a specific person, why would that person want to go out with you guys? Further complicating the issue is that we know Martin was dealing with some personal issues somewhat unrelated. People - especially football players - can never seem to understand why someone might not want to be a part of something they are. "Why wouldn't he just come out with us? What's wrong with the guy?" people ask, as if that is somehow justification to keep going at this guy.
Seriously, has no one ever heard of depression?
I happen to work at a place where everyone is friends. Everyone hangs out with each other outside of work. It's great. As for me? I'm pretty inconsistent about it. I go through periods where I'm feeling social and want to hang out with everyone. I also go through periods where I don't want to see anyone. I have moments where I feel like I fit in with my co-workers; I also have moments where I feel like I'm a total outsider. None of it makes any sense. That's just how my brain works. And this is with co-workers who don't constantly prank me or threaten me or say mean spirited shit to me. I think back to my days on the high school football team and recall that there were maybe four or five people total that I would want to hang out with - the rest were jerks.
Point being, it's a little unfair to say that Martin asked for it because he was a bit of an outsider. Especially at this point where - and I know that everyone likes to build sports to be more important than they are - it's ultimately just a job (and a game!). Martin is there to work. He doesn't have to get along with everyone, so long as he contributes. This story would be fundamentally different if it were a case of the Dolphins organization thinking he wasn't playing well and decided to cut him. Instead, this is players making that decision and chasing him out of the league. And now they're speaking up to essentially ensure this guy can't work here again. I get that everyone now behaves like the 2012 Red Sox, but those decisions are not up to them. Everyone wants to talk about how Martin needs to "man up," but these players are acting like children themselves. Could you imagine their attitudes if one of their teams signed Martin?
Speaking of "manning up," maybe it's just me, but I'd like it a little bit more of we used "man up" to apply to the other football players speaking out against Martin. How come "man up" doesn't mean "behave in a reasonable, ethical, and professional manner"? I keep hearing fans and players saying things like, "I'm a grown ass man. I'll handle that in the locker room!" Uh huh...sure. The sign of being a "grown ass man" certainly does mean throwing fists at the first sign of a problem. (Seriously, why does my gender have to be the one equated with stupid immaturity?) How about instead of saying dumb shit like that, we say, "I'm a grown ass man. I'm not going to haze my co-workers and conduct myself in a classy, professional manner."
Everyone likes to talk about how football is a gladiator sport. They're warriors. They need that warrior culture. See, I can understand this kind of culture existing within the Marines or Army or whatever. These are actual, literal warriors. It literally is life or death for them. (Although to be fair, the military on an official level doesn't deal with hazing. They monitor that situation pretty closely.) Football players though? They're not warriors. They're just physically fit gamers. It's a game! You're not going to war. Stop acting like this is this super difficult thing that merits its own messed up culture.
It's the culture that chased me out of football - not the sport itself. I love football. It's a really fun sport to play that incorporates physicality with a sort of chess-like intelligence. But I could never get behind the rampant sexism, racism, and homophobia that exists within that locker room. It's one thing to occasionally pull pranks on people; it's another to straight up haze. That was never productive, in my mind. It wasn't that I couldn't handle it. It was that I didn't want to have to deal with it. There's a huge difference. (My job is in customer service. I've worked seven years in a job where basically, I'm paid to sit their and take verbal abuse. I think I can handle it. The difference here though is that I don't deal with customer abuse only to turn around and deal with my co-workers constantly at my throat too.)
The more I read online - whether it's comments from players or fans - the more I am starting to find the culture is beginning to chase me out of even basic fandom. I'm not so sure I want to be supporting a system where the professional part of professional athlete just means that they make a ton of money, and not that they conduct themselves in a professional manner. At the end of the day, football is just a game and a job. It's not the end of the world if your team loses. It's not even that big of a deal when your team wins. Yes, it's not a great feeling when they lose and it feels pretty cool when they win, but it's just a game. And for these players, it's also a job. Part of me can't stand how football players (and to be fair, most athletes really) build sports up to be this super important thing. It's the reason they exist. They wind up creating this self-appointed cycle of significance. Winning or losing doesn't ultimately matter, but apparently, they can't do a job if they don't think it means everything. On the one hand, you have to admire that work ethic. On the other hand, it's pretty fucking dumb.
It has nothing to do about one's "softness." Everyone has a line. (Also, it's just a game. It really doesn't require that much more mental toughness than any other job, really.) This Miami Dolphins situation isn't so much about bullying (I don't actually think this was a case of bullying). It's more about failed leadership and this idea that somehow, if you play a sport that most of us play for simple pleasure, you are no longer human. You're not allowed to be different. It's about a culture that persists for no real reason. It's about these stupid athletes trying to take control of a gender - my gender - and tell everyone that real men act like teenagers. That if they're pushing you too far, it's because you're "soft." It's about ignorance to all of the things that go with mental issues (in a league that has its fair share of mental issues!). The more NFL players speak, the more I start to hate the NFL.
It's true. We don't really want to see how the sausage is made. Maybe I'm alone here, but maybe it's time we do start caring about these things.
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